Funny things I read in law school

From time to time in my mountain of law school reading that I do EVERY DAY, I come across something amusing. Most of the time it is found in a footnote that most students may overlook in their haste to finish the assignment and move on to something else. This is one that definitely bears repeating.I was nearly done with my reading for Wills, Trusts, & Estates (the second to the last case) and I came across this footnote for the justice who wrote the dissenting opinion:

"Justice Musmanno was a striking individualist, sometimes injudicious, always colorful. In dissenting from a majority holding that Henry Miller's Rabelasian Tropic of Cancer was not obscene, Musmanno wrote:

'Cancer is not a book. It is a cesspool, an open sewer, a pit of putrifaction, a slimy gathering of all that is rotten in the debris of human depravity. And in the center of all this waste and stench, besmearing himself with its foulest defilement, splashes, leaps, cavorts and wallows a bifurcated specimen that responds to the name of Henry Miller. One wonders how the human species could have produced so lecherous, blasphemous, disgusting and amoral a human being as Henry Miller. One wonders why he is received in polite society...from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia, from Dan to Beersheba and from the ramparts of the Bible to Samuel Eliot Morrison's Oxford History of the American People, I dissent.'

I could only hope to be this articulate. Even though I do not wish upon myself all of the attributes of Mr. Justice Musmanno.

Blessed

Well, we survived IKE. On Thursday morning last week Boyd and I decided that we would rather not "hunker down" as Judge Ed Emmett put it, so we packed up the cat (with a small dose of dramamine) and our other belongings (mainly Boyd's Wii and our wedding picture proofs...still haven't ordered!) and hit the highways. It was a long trip, at one point it took us 45 minutes to get 8 miles!!! Thankfully, Boyd and I are still country enough to know the value of backroading it, so that is what we did. Let me tell you, next time we will do that again! There were maybe 7 cars on the back roads and we kept a top speed of about 65 mph (they are curvy and hilly and only two lanes after all). So after about 4 hours in the car, as opposed to the usual hour and forty-five minutes, we arrived at Tutu's. We spent most of Friday watching the weather channel tell us that if you lived in Galveston you were dead meat and helping Tutu get the house prepared for strong winds. We also went to lunch with Gary and Gale, which was great! When we went to bed on Friday, we were fully expecting to wake up at some point and hear howling winds and rain...no such luck. It was a little windy and it did not rain at all! Saturday was spent watching the TV to see what had happened to Houston, but mostly they showed what happened at the coast, with the exception of the glass blowing out in Downtown. We also found out that Boyd didn't have to be back at work until Tuesday. I finally settled down to spend about 4 hours on my Estate and Gift Tax Homework and Boyd played Wii. Sunday we found out that our apartment HAD POWER!!! One of the very few places in Houston to have power back already, Tutu and Jim have family here that might not have power for three weeks. So, Tutu and Jim took them some generators. Sunday, I finished up my homework and watched the news and found out I have school on Wednesday (today). We decided that we would go home on Monday. We bought some groceries in La Grange, because we had seen the long lines on TV and hit the road. It really didn't take us that long to get back, we were surprised. And when we got to our apartment.....everything was fine. Down limbs and some trees and bushes fell over, but no damage to us. Our lights had been out for less than 18 hours so everything in the freezer was fine. We have electricity and running water! We have air conditioning and TV! I feel so blessed that we are able to have all of these things when just a few blocks over people have none of them. God is really watching over us!

WHAT?!?!

You know, I really don't like the fair all that much. It is a time to see people that you never see otherwise that you went to high school with! It is "always on Labor Day Weekend." This means that it is stinking hot and either muddy or dry and dusty! So, Boyd and I are making the rounds because it is the thing to do and we run into an old classmate (no names). We make small talk for a bit, both Boyd and I taking part of the conversation. All of the sudden, he looks at Boyd and says (while gesturing in my direction): SOOOO, is she producing yet??????

Me (aloud): AHEM, uh, no we aren't having kids yet.
Me (to myself): WHAT?!?!? Am I "producing yet?" I am not a heifer nor am I an oil well!!!!! Who asks this kind of question. I mean, personally, I think Boyd made a good investment in marrying me. I mean, I am an asset I guess (at least most of the time). But, why not just ask if we are having kids like a normal person!

Am I right?

Only me...

This semester on Tuesdays and Thursdays I try to be at school by 8AM, because I have class at 8:40 and I must be on time or I will be counted absent. At that early in the morning, I am sometimes barely awake. This morning I parked my car in the garage, had a decent conversation with my office mate, Kellen, about the Palin acceptance speech last night and went to class. (Where I was called on to recite.) I go on about my day accomplishing various tasks until about 6:05PM, when I was ready to go home. When I was walking with my backpack full of my 3 Gift and Estate Tax Books and my laptop, I realized "I don't remember on what level of the garage I parked. AW MAN!!!!" So I decided I thought I parked on level six on the right side of the garage. I ride the elevator up to six and walk down the right side of the garage, hmmm no car! Maybe it was on level five. So I take the stairwell down to five (the stairwell smells like bat guano). I look down the ramp on the right side of five, no car. WHAT?!?! What was I doing this morning, not paying attention apparently, how did I even drive here? Maybe, let's try seven. So I elevator up to seven because my stuff is really heavy and my back is starting to hurt. I look down the ramp on the right side of seven. NO CAR. Ok. This is DUMB! What to do, what to do? So, I did the only thing I could think of. I elevator up to nine (9!!!) and start walking down the ramps and peeking in on the pass throughs for my car on each level. Eight, no car; seven, no car; six, no car (Oh crap) five.........................................CAR. Where? On the left side of the garage, not the right. DUMMY! AHHH! At least I found it, even though it is 6:19 PM. Throw stuff in the back seat and climb in, start to close door. OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH! My toes, my toes, my toes!!!! I shut my toes in the door. I tried closing the door before my foot was all the way in the car!

Yes, people! I graduated with honors from Texas A&M (some may say this was my first problem...only an aggie) and I am in Law School. How amazing am I?